Let Go

I couldn't think of anything to write, so I thought I'd share a little of what God showed/taught me last weekend. Let's see...where to begin?
The lesson of the weekend was about Jonah. It revolved around Jonah 2:8, which says, "Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God’s love for them." The theme was all about letting go, releasing anything and everything holding us back from doing God's will. Many of my girls had to let go of past pains and future fears, but God spoke to me as well. He told me I was holding on to lots of things. I'll write about two of them. I was holding on to time in two ways.
Everyone grows older. My best friend doesn't seem bothered by the fact we're not 20 anymore. While I cringe at every fine line. I don't embrace that the skin under my eyes are darker or that my eyelashes aren't as full. I want to take my 19-20 aged face and permanently glue it on my late 20's face. Don't get me wrong; I'm not horribly dissatisfied with my looks. I'm beautiful...for a 27-year-old. But boy, when I looked into my eighth-grader girls or even my college-aged co-leader, I couldn't help feeling envy for such flawless skin. I know that they too will eventually turn 27 and look closer to me. I know I will grow to look closer to my mother and her mother. I know that one cannot stop the clock. I know, but I can almost feel my youth slipping away. Well, that's because it is.
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." Psalms 31:30.
When I think with the Spirit, I don't understand why I cling to my youth so desperately. I'm married, so I don't need to win any man (and my husband tells me I'm pretty all the time, so I don't need to try harder than I am for him). I can't use my looks for any of God's work that I can think of. I'm not Esther needing to impress a king so I can be queen and save my whole race.
It comes down to pride. I want to look at my reflection and be enthralled. Love for myself rather than for my Lord and King. So, God told me to let go.
He also told me to let go of my free time. I use it too selfishly. Ecclesiastes tells us there's a time for everything, so relaxing isn't sinful by itself. But in my situation, let's just say, if my time were a pie, there's a huge chunk that's wasted on a daily basis. I need to give up more of my time for the Lord, be open to his voice. I could do a lot more good than I am.
So, there you have it. More confessions of a 27-year-old who'd like nothing better than to spend all my time watching t.v. and putting on makeup. Sad, I know. I only hope that writing my life lessons can help you with yours. What are you clinging to so tightly while God is saying, "Let go?"