Don't ignore the nudge

Ever feel a nudge, an urge inside your soul telling you to do something? That's how I felt yesterday. I saw a lady being treated rudely at a grocery store. This particular store doesn't provide bags. You must pay for them. This woman was obviously new to the store, and after purchasing her food, she asked where the plastic bags were. The cashier said all too curtly, "You have to pay for them" and ignored her afterward. I was a bit enraged (almost called later and complained).
Right before I paid for my groceries, God told me to buy the lady some bags. I did at the last minute, feeling a bit silly. My amount of items obviously did not need the extra bags. I quickly left and gave them to the lady, who was already piling the food in her trunk. She said thanks and explained she was unfamiliar with the store. I nodded, smiled, and went on my way. I didn't feel any urge to speak with her more, though now I think maybe I should have. Only now can I think to ask, "Are you new to Kirksville?" That question alone can lead to so many opportunities to invite them to church and/or Bible study. Or even share the Word if God led the conversation in that direction.

I have never been a fan of a certain evangelical method. In my opinion, knocking on doors and passing out tracks is very ineffective. The percentage of truly reached souls is extremely low. I understand and concede with the counter argument that the one or two souls that hear and receive the gospel through these measures make it worth the effort. One cannot determine which type of ground your seeds fall, whether road, rocky land, thorns or good soil (Parable of the Sower). If just one seed lands on the good soil, it could produce a multitude of fruit. So, yes, this type of evangelical method is needed, but I don't believe everyone is called to this method.
Some must disciple and teach the young seedlings that are trying so hard to grow. Others are called to prepare the ground for the sower. What makes good soil good? God, obviously. But he seems to be in the habit of using his children as vessels for his work, so I believe preparing the ground is part of that.
How can one make the ground ready? Being fruitful. Nothing is more appetizing than a tree filled with juicy insert your favorite fruit. I know a certain someone who finds a pear tree to be one of her favorite summer stops. When our lives reflect the Lord, it brings people closer. I believe seeing a truly faithful walk causes a curiosity and even a desire to share in that walk.
Then there is the type of witnessing like when Philip met the eunuch on the road and explained to him a passage in Isaiah and shared the gospel (Acts 8:26-40). Sometimes God puts specific people of our hearts, like a co-worker or the person who does your taxes. Or a lady in a grocery store. These people aren't necessarily unsaved. Maybe God simply wants them to grow more and is using you to provide the nutrients needed.
What this all wraps up to is that God has a variety of jobs for us. Some are needed in just one, others in more. Just because you're not preaching in a public forum doesn't mean God can't/won't ask you to share the message in another way. Always be ready to be a vessel. To do that, you must first be empty...but that's for another entry =).

Love, Love, Love

I must take a moment to brag on my husband. He was given a tiny budget to spend on me for Valentine's Day due to some house expenses that have come up and fun plans ahead we're saving for. Instead of sticking to the budget, he sacrificed some of his Christmas money in order to buy me a lovely necklace. He's the best husband in the world!!!
With Monday being Valentine's Day, I thought it fitting to write about love. It's such a large word, with enormous meaning and yet only four letters. One of my favorite quotes come from The Five Love Languages:
"Love is the most important word in the English language--and the most confusing." Another favorite quote of mine comes from Moulin Rouge: "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."
But which love am I talking about? There are several types of love, and many languages are smart enough to distinguish them while we English-speaking folk clump all meanings into one word: love. The Greeks had four words: Eros, Storge, Philia, and Agape. Very sensible, don't you think? Eros is the sexual attraction we feel;  the kind of love that sells toothpaste =). Storge is the way I feel for my mother and father. Philia is the love I feel for a child who's crying and lost, more commonly called brotherly love. Agape is that perfect and unconditional love that one cannot feel without God. It's the one talked about in scripture. It's the love 1 Corinthians 13 is about. Agape is patient, Agape is kind... When Jesus spoke of the two greatest commands in Matthew 22, to love God and to love others, he used the agape type of love. When John wrote, "Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1 John 4:7-8)," he used the agape type of love. These verses tell us 3 vital things about agape: how we express it, we can't truly express it without knowing God, and we are commanded to express it.
We have all the tools, but in the end, love is easier said than done. We are imperfect people commanded to love perfectly. Anytime we sin, it comes down to a love issue. We simply fail to love. It's hard to swallow. As I write this I want to scream, "But I do love my husband. I do love God. I do, I do, I do!" Well, actions speak louder than words because agape is all about actions. Every time I hurt my spouse or my friends or my mom or dad or God, I do not love them at that moment.
What's the key to loving better? Loving God more. Walking in the Spirit daily. We need God to love with the love only God has. The more we empty ourselves and allow God to fill us, the more we can "love and be loved in return."
I Could Sing of Your Love Forever

Let Go

I couldn't think of anything to write, so I thought I'd share a little of what God showed/taught me last weekend. Let's see...where to begin?
The lesson of the weekend was about Jonah. It revolved around Jonah 2:8, which says, "Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God’s love for them." The theme was all about letting go, releasing anything and everything holding us back from doing God's will. Many of my girls had to let go of past pains and future fears, but God spoke to me as well. He told me I was holding on to lots of things. I'll write about two of them. I was holding on to time in two ways.
Everyone grows older. My best friend doesn't seem bothered by the fact we're not 20 anymore. While I cringe at every fine line. I don't embrace that the skin under my eyes are darker or that my eyelashes aren't as full. I want to take my 19-20 aged face and permanently glue it on my late 20's face. Don't get me wrong; I'm not horribly dissatisfied with my looks. I'm beautiful...for a 27-year-old. But boy, when I looked into my eighth-grader girls or even my college-aged co-leader, I couldn't help feeling envy for such flawless skin. I know that they too will eventually turn 27 and look closer to me. I know I will grow to look closer to my mother and her mother. I know that one cannot stop the clock. I know, but I can almost feel my youth slipping away. Well, that's because it is.
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." Psalms 31:30.
When I think with the Spirit, I don't understand why I cling to my youth so desperately. I'm married, so I don't need to win any man (and my husband tells me I'm pretty all the time, so I don't need to try harder than I am for him). I can't use my looks for any of God's work that I can think of. I'm not Esther needing to impress a king so I can be queen and save my whole race.
It comes down to pride. I want to look at my reflection and be enthralled. Love for myself rather than for my Lord and King. So, God told me to let go.
He also told me to let go of my free time. I use it too selfishly. Ecclesiastes tells us there's a time for everything, so relaxing isn't sinful by itself. But in my situation, let's just say, if my time were a pie, there's a huge chunk that's wasted on a daily basis. I need to give up more of my time for the Lord, be open to his voice. I could do a lot more good than I am.
So, there you have it. More confessions of a 27-year-old who'd like nothing better than to spend all my time watching t.v. and putting on makeup. Sad, I know. I only hope that writing my life lessons can help you with yours. What are you clinging to so tightly while God is saying, "Let go?"

He Wants YOU!

This weekend, Jon and I will be helping with his dad's church and being leaders for a youth thing called Disciple Now. Looking over the lesson plans, I was struck by how much the first lesson tied into the Esther study the ladies at my church have been doing. The lessons this weekend are about the story of Jonah. Lesson one focuses on the aspect that God calls us to do a task and passionately pursues us when we run away. He doesn't give up or let us go. One of the questions (a rather minor one compared to the others) is, Do you think God would have sent someone else or was Jonah Nineveh’s only chance? I was fascinated by this question because of what I recently read in Esther 4:14: "If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die. Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?" 

Unfortunately, God doesn't need us. He is in no way dependent on us. God needs no one. However, he wants us so much he was willing to send his son to die on the cross for us. He wants us specifically to live a special destiny and fulfill a certain purpose. He was willing to argue with Moses until his slow-to-anger attitude became angry. He was willing to chase Jonah in the opposite direction and deliver him into the belly of a huge fish. He loves us enough to passionately pursue us until we obey him. We are not easily replaceable in his mind. As the Uncle Sam sign reads: I want you!

Something about that just gives me butterflies. God wants me, and no one else, to do a special task designed for me alone. He promises to continue his work in me until it is finished (Phil 1:6). 

So, now I have choices. I can either obey immediately, hesitate as Esther did, argue as Moses did, or run away as Jonah did. In the end, I'll obey God's direction, so why bother with the delays? Because sometimes God's will is for me to do something I think is crazy, irrational and/or scary. Sometimes he tells me to do the opposite of what I want to do. In the end, when I do obey (even while grumbling), I always feel wonderful afterward. You know the feeling when you've just completed a hard job? It's better than that! A hundred times better!! The best way I can describe it is joy mixed with peace mixed with healthy pride.

So what's God asking you to do? He asked me to shovel my driveway (it took 4 hrs), so we could be ready to leave tomorrow morning and see my dad in Matthews, Mo and help Jon's dad's church out. I admit, I was a little peeved at my hubby when he made the decision to help this weekend without a full discussion after we got the facts. I personally wanted to stay home and relax. I know God will do great things through me this weekend, though, so now I'm excited.  Oh, and he told me to write this blog although I was hoping to somehow excuse myself from it. After all, I'm on vacation this week. =)

Pray for the eighth-grade girls I'll be co-leading and the eighth-grade boys Jon will be leading. Pray that we'll both be empty vessels filled only by the Holy Spirit. 

P.S. Forgive the weird fonts. Even when I select all and select a font/size, it refuses to make everything consistent.