I'll be quite honest. My brain doesn't really have a blog idea, and God hasn't banged me over the head with one either. However, a few people in my life will be disappointed if I write nothing, so here is a little something...
Everyday at least one child in the class I assist for has ants in his or her pants. Maybe due to early consumption of sugar. Maybe due to exciting plans. Maybe ADHD. Who really knows. I only know that the child cannot sit still to save his or her life. Sometimes I'm tempted to super glue their butts to the chair.
Likewise, my brain is a 3 year old. I must be entertained all the time. Unless I'm sleeping, my brain is ticking or turning to mush. At work, my mind is on the kids or what I have to do after work. After work, if I'm stuck doing something that's not really fun, I entertain myself while I do it. Just today, I listened to a audio book while exercising. I watched a show via my cell phone while cooking dinner. I wish at this very moment I could listen to music and not be distracted from typing. When I fold clothes later, I'll probably be watching or listening to something.
It's like I have to bury my thoughts in crap as often as possible. This, I believe, is one (maybe THE) reason I haven't got an idea for this week's blog. I've allowed very little time for God's still small voice to speak to me. I've allowed very little time for him, period.
There's a reason God inspired the psalmist to say "He says, 'Be still and know that I am God" (Ps. 46:10). No one sits still anymore. I'm not convinced they ever did. I wonder what they used to drown out God's voice in Jesus' time. Now we have televisions, computers, mp3 players, game systems, fancy phones, theaters, books, etc. Technology is fun, but if we worship it, we are in danger of our growth being stunted. By worship, I mean put it before the Lord, God who should be our Almighty.
So, pray I listen more. And if you have this issue, at least you know you're not alone. =)
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
But I said sorry!
Our new woman's Bible study has directed me to Romans 6. Paul becomes a bit repetitive and says almost the same exact thing in verses 1-2 and 15. Romans 6:1-2 states, "What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means!..." Romans 6:15 states, "What then? Shall we sin because we are not under the law but under grace? By no means!"
Why do you suppose he had to state twice in the same chapter that we are NOT to use our freedom in Christ as an excuse to sin? Could it be, perhaps, because this deed is second nature to us, the dumb sheep that we are? From watching children and how they pick up on the universal "rules," I'd say yes, definitely. It's a very natural response to attempt excusing behavior and avoiding punishment.
Let me give just a tiny example of what I see at work. Child A deliberately hits child B. Child B runs to tell the teacher. At some point between these two events, Child A says the magical words, "I'm sorry." The teacher (in this case, me) confronts child A and asks why s/he hit child B, but all child A says is, "I said I was sorry. I said sorry!" Teacher can't see into the heart of child A, but appearances signify that child A is not sorry at all. Teacher punishes child A by putting him/her in time out. Afterward, teacher tries her best to explain why saying sorry doesn't mean no punishment. That time out is necessary to keep child A from doing it again, and saying sorry doesn't make hitting acceptable behavior. Then, of course, it's time to say sorry (again) to child B, and, hopefully, this time s/he genuinely means the words.
Because the child lacks the knowledge of the need for sincerity, I comprehend why child A thinks s/he can hit, say sorry, and all is fine and dandy. Children just don't understand.
So then, what's our excuse?
Obviously we think like a child in this manner because we have the audacity to think at times, I can go ahead and do (fill in the blank with your choice of sin). I'll just repent afterward and God will forgive me and forget all about it. Sure, God will forgive, but I believe our confession and repentance has the requirement of conviction. Eventually, one might truly be genuine, but think about what comes with sincerity: guilt, shame, self examination, turning from the sin... I love the say the NLT states this in verse 21 of the same chapter: "You are now ashamed of the things you used to do, things that end in eternal doom." Who wants that baggage? Been there, done that. No thanks.
The solution is simple; don't sin in the first place! Well, duh, but no one's perfect. Sin will creep up on us daily. However, the last thing we should do is use our freedom in Christ to open temptation's door wider. In the end, we'll either not be truly repentant and severely hurt our relationship with God, or we will truly repent, which is a painful process. Children don't understand, but we should.
Why do you suppose he had to state twice in the same chapter that we are NOT to use our freedom in Christ as an excuse to sin? Could it be, perhaps, because this deed is second nature to us, the dumb sheep that we are? From watching children and how they pick up on the universal "rules," I'd say yes, definitely. It's a very natural response to attempt excusing behavior and avoiding punishment.
Let me give just a tiny example of what I see at work. Child A deliberately hits child B. Child B runs to tell the teacher. At some point between these two events, Child A says the magical words, "I'm sorry." The teacher (in this case, me) confronts child A and asks why s/he hit child B, but all child A says is, "I said I was sorry. I said sorry!" Teacher can't see into the heart of child A, but appearances signify that child A is not sorry at all. Teacher punishes child A by putting him/her in time out. Afterward, teacher tries her best to explain why saying sorry doesn't mean no punishment. That time out is necessary to keep child A from doing it again, and saying sorry doesn't make hitting acceptable behavior. Then, of course, it's time to say sorry (again) to child B, and, hopefully, this time s/he genuinely means the words.
Because the child lacks the knowledge of the need for sincerity, I comprehend why child A thinks s/he can hit, say sorry, and all is fine and dandy. Children just don't understand.
So then, what's our excuse?
Obviously we think like a child in this manner because we have the audacity to think at times, I can go ahead and do (fill in the blank with your choice of sin). I'll just repent afterward and God will forgive me and forget all about it. Sure, God will forgive, but I believe our confession and repentance has the requirement of conviction. Eventually, one might truly be genuine, but think about what comes with sincerity: guilt, shame, self examination, turning from the sin... I love the say the NLT states this in verse 21 of the same chapter: "You are now ashamed of the things you used to do, things that end in eternal doom." Who wants that baggage? Been there, done that. No thanks.
The solution is simple; don't sin in the first place! Well, duh, but no one's perfect. Sin will creep up on us daily. However, the last thing we should do is use our freedom in Christ to open temptation's door wider. In the end, we'll either not be truly repentant and severely hurt our relationship with God, or we will truly repent, which is a painful process. Children don't understand, but we should.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Traps and Tricks
First off, I'd like to apologize for not writing these past two weeks. I was very under the weather and felt no inspiration. Isn't that how it is when you're sick? Anywho, I'm writing today...
Let me take you to a scene of a cute cartoon. You have a road runner and a coyote, who is always after the road runner. The long-legged bird is very fast, so the coyote must set traps for his 'breakfast." The coyote then sets a noose on the ground to catch the bird's foot. When he hears the notorious "beep, beep," he pulls the noose, but the road runner dodged the rope, and the force of the coyote's pull causes him to fall backward off the cliff. His noose snatches on a heavy rock, but, as his luck would have it, the rope is too long, and he lands hard against the desert ground. As he rises, he tugs the rope still attached to the rock, which lands on his head. Thus ends the coyote's attempt to catch the road runner.
This scene is similar to several fun shows such as Tom and Jerry or Bugs Bunny when Yosemite Sam tries to hunt the rabbit down. Additionally, on the adult side, there are movies like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, where the main characters (both male and female) are fooling each other only to be bit in the butt by their dirty tricks.
In the end, the traps that sit in wait fail and backfire. This is, excitingly, a Biblical concept. As you know, the Bible book we ladies are studying is Esther, in which Haman justly hangs on the gallows he had built for his nemesis, Mordecai. But unlike the coyote, there is no recovery. No redo.
Now if Haman had just read Psalms and Proverbs, maybe he'd have known better. Proverbs 26:27 says, "If you set a trap for others, you will get caught in it yourself. If you roll a boulder down on others, it will crush you instead." I wonder if the writers for Looney Toons read this before creating a couple of their scenes. Likewise, Psalms 7:15-16 says, "They dig a deep pit to trap others, then fall into it themselves. The trouble they make for others backfires on them. The violence they plan falls on their own heads."
This blog has no life application, unless, of course, you are planning an evil scheme. If not, take peace in knowing that tricksters always lose in the end. =)
Let me take you to a scene of a cute cartoon. You have a road runner and a coyote, who is always after the road runner. The long-legged bird is very fast, so the coyote must set traps for his 'breakfast." The coyote then sets a noose on the ground to catch the bird's foot. When he hears the notorious "beep, beep," he pulls the noose, but the road runner dodged the rope, and the force of the coyote's pull causes him to fall backward off the cliff. His noose snatches on a heavy rock, but, as his luck would have it, the rope is too long, and he lands hard against the desert ground. As he rises, he tugs the rope still attached to the rock, which lands on his head. Thus ends the coyote's attempt to catch the road runner.
This scene is similar to several fun shows such as Tom and Jerry or Bugs Bunny when Yosemite Sam tries to hunt the rabbit down. Additionally, on the adult side, there are movies like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, where the main characters (both male and female) are fooling each other only to be bit in the butt by their dirty tricks.
In the end, the traps that sit in wait fail and backfire. This is, excitingly, a Biblical concept. As you know, the Bible book we ladies are studying is Esther, in which Haman justly hangs on the gallows he had built for his nemesis, Mordecai. But unlike the coyote, there is no recovery. No redo.
Now if Haman had just read Psalms and Proverbs, maybe he'd have known better. Proverbs 26:27 says, "If you set a trap for others, you will get caught in it yourself. If you roll a boulder down on others, it will crush you instead." I wonder if the writers for Looney Toons read this before creating a couple of their scenes. Likewise, Psalms 7:15-16 says, "They dig a deep pit to trap others, then fall into it themselves. The trouble they make for others backfires on them. The violence they plan falls on their own heads."
This blog has no life application, unless, of course, you are planning an evil scheme. If not, take peace in knowing that tricksters always lose in the end. =)
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Small packages
The other week when the 3-year-olds were heading upstairs for nap time, a mother commented to her older girl, "They're so little." At the time, I was prodding along a stubborn child who didn't want to go upstairs. I looked at the woman and replied, "Yes, but powerful things come in tiny packages. This one is a walking time bomb."
When you look at creation, you see many things that reflect this truth. Paper cuts hurt worse than getting stabbed at times. Mice are little creatures, but they can bring the deadliest of diseases to a town or village. One small mistake in a building can send it crashing down.
Throughout the whole Old Testament you see this pattern. God uses the weaker one. Technically, Isaac was the second born to Abraham, not the first. He was lesser, but he was the one through which God blessed the nations. Jacob was the younger of the two, but he received the blessing. God designed this from the beginning. Joseph, a younger son, became a powerful ruler. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says, "But [Jesus] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." How can Jesus have room when we use up all the space? All the strength we have should come from the Lord.
Jesus came to this world as a weak little baby. He lived a simple life and died a painful, human death. He chose to be weak. He was humble. He is the rock that broke the strong metals in Nebuchadnezzar's dream. Small but mighty.
Jesus came to show the mighty and wise how small and foolish they really are. Part of being a great vessel for God is to be humble and weak. For only then can he make us strong and useful.
When you look at creation, you see many things that reflect this truth. Paper cuts hurt worse than getting stabbed at times. Mice are little creatures, but they can bring the deadliest of diseases to a town or village. One small mistake in a building can send it crashing down.
Throughout the whole Old Testament you see this pattern. God uses the weaker one. Technically, Isaac was the second born to Abraham, not the first. He was lesser, but he was the one through which God blessed the nations. Jacob was the younger of the two, but he received the blessing. God designed this from the beginning. Joseph, a younger son, became a powerful ruler. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says, "But [Jesus] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." How can Jesus have room when we use up all the space? All the strength we have should come from the Lord.
Jesus came to this world as a weak little baby. He lived a simple life and died a painful, human death. He chose to be weak. He was humble. He is the rock that broke the strong metals in Nebuchadnezzar's dream. Small but mighty.
Jesus came to show the mighty and wise how small and foolish they really are. Part of being a great vessel for God is to be humble and weak. For only then can he make us strong and useful.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Don't ignore the nudge
Ever feel a nudge, an urge inside your soul telling you to do something? That's how I felt yesterday. I saw a lady being treated rudely at a grocery store. This particular store doesn't provide bags. You must pay for them. This woman was obviously new to the store, and after purchasing her food, she asked where the plastic bags were. The cashier said all too curtly, "You have to pay for them" and ignored her afterward. I was a bit enraged (almost called later and complained).
Right before I paid for my groceries, God told me to buy the lady some bags. I did at the last minute, feeling a bit silly. My amount of items obviously did not need the extra bags. I quickly left and gave them to the lady, who was already piling the food in her trunk. She said thanks and explained she was unfamiliar with the store. I nodded, smiled, and went on my way. I didn't feel any urge to speak with her more, though now I think maybe I should have. Only now can I think to ask, "Are you new to Kirksville?" That question alone can lead to so many opportunities to invite them to church and/or Bible study. Or even share the Word if God led the conversation in that direction.
I have never been a fan of a certain evangelical method. In my opinion, knocking on doors and passing out tracks is very ineffective. The percentage of truly reached souls is extremely low. I understand and concede with the counter argument that the one or two souls that hear and receive the gospel through these measures make it worth the effort. One cannot determine which type of ground your seeds fall, whether road, rocky land, thorns or good soil (Parable of the Sower). If just one seed lands on the good soil, it could produce a multitude of fruit. So, yes, this type of evangelical method is needed, but I don't believe everyone is called to this method.
Some must disciple and teach the young seedlings that are trying so hard to grow. Others are called to prepare the ground for the sower. What makes good soil good? God, obviously. But he seems to be in the habit of using his children as vessels for his work, so I believe preparing the ground is part of that.
How can one make the ground ready? Being fruitful. Nothing is more appetizing than a tree filled with juicy insert your favorite fruit. I know a certain someone who finds a pear tree to be one of her favorite summer stops. When our lives reflect the Lord, it brings people closer. I believe seeing a truly faithful walk causes a curiosity and even a desire to share in that walk.
Then there is the type of witnessing like when Philip met the eunuch on the road and explained to him a passage in Isaiah and shared the gospel (Acts 8:26-40). Sometimes God puts specific people of our hearts, like a co-worker or the person who does your taxes. Or a lady in a grocery store. These people aren't necessarily unsaved. Maybe God simply wants them to grow more and is using you to provide the nutrients needed.
What this all wraps up to is that God has a variety of jobs for us. Some are needed in just one, others in more. Just because you're not preaching in a public forum doesn't mean God can't/won't ask you to share the message in another way. Always be ready to be a vessel. To do that, you must first be empty...but that's for another entry =).
Right before I paid for my groceries, God told me to buy the lady some bags. I did at the last minute, feeling a bit silly. My amount of items obviously did not need the extra bags. I quickly left and gave them to the lady, who was already piling the food in her trunk. She said thanks and explained she was unfamiliar with the store. I nodded, smiled, and went on my way. I didn't feel any urge to speak with her more, though now I think maybe I should have. Only now can I think to ask, "Are you new to Kirksville?" That question alone can lead to so many opportunities to invite them to church and/or Bible study. Or even share the Word if God led the conversation in that direction.
I have never been a fan of a certain evangelical method. In my opinion, knocking on doors and passing out tracks is very ineffective. The percentage of truly reached souls is extremely low. I understand and concede with the counter argument that the one or two souls that hear and receive the gospel through these measures make it worth the effort. One cannot determine which type of ground your seeds fall, whether road, rocky land, thorns or good soil (Parable of the Sower). If just one seed lands on the good soil, it could produce a multitude of fruit. So, yes, this type of evangelical method is needed, but I don't believe everyone is called to this method.
Some must disciple and teach the young seedlings that are trying so hard to grow. Others are called to prepare the ground for the sower. What makes good soil good? God, obviously. But he seems to be in the habit of using his children as vessels for his work, so I believe preparing the ground is part of that.
How can one make the ground ready? Being fruitful. Nothing is more appetizing than a tree filled with juicy insert your favorite fruit. I know a certain someone who finds a pear tree to be one of her favorite summer stops. When our lives reflect the Lord, it brings people closer. I believe seeing a truly faithful walk causes a curiosity and even a desire to share in that walk.
Then there is the type of witnessing like when Philip met the eunuch on the road and explained to him a passage in Isaiah and shared the gospel (Acts 8:26-40). Sometimes God puts specific people of our hearts, like a co-worker or the person who does your taxes. Or a lady in a grocery store. These people aren't necessarily unsaved. Maybe God simply wants them to grow more and is using you to provide the nutrients needed.
What this all wraps up to is that God has a variety of jobs for us. Some are needed in just one, others in more. Just because you're not preaching in a public forum doesn't mean God can't/won't ask you to share the message in another way. Always be ready to be a vessel. To do that, you must first be empty...but that's for another entry =).
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Love, Love, Love
I must take a moment to brag on my husband. He was given a tiny budget to spend on me for Valentine's Day due to some house expenses that have come up and fun plans ahead we're saving for. Instead of sticking to the budget, he sacrificed some of his Christmas money in order to buy me a lovely necklace. He's the best husband in the world!!!
With Monday being Valentine's Day, I thought it fitting to write about love. It's such a large word, with enormous meaning and yet only four letters. One of my favorite quotes come from The Five Love Languages:
"Love is the most important word in the English language--and the most confusing." Another favorite quote of mine comes from Moulin Rouge: "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."
But which love am I talking about? There are several types of love, and many languages are smart enough to distinguish them while we English-speaking folk clump all meanings into one word: love. The Greeks had four words: Eros, Storge, Philia, and Agape. Very sensible, don't you think? Eros is the sexual attraction we feel; the kind of love that sells toothpaste =). Storge is the way I feel for my mother and father. Philia is the love I feel for a child who's crying and lost, more commonly called brotherly love. Agape is that perfect and unconditional love that one cannot feel without God. It's the one talked about in scripture. It's the love 1 Corinthians 13 is about. Agape is patient, Agape is kind... When Jesus spoke of the two greatest commands in Matthew 22, to love God and to love others, he used the agape type of love. When John wrote, "Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1 John 4:7-8)," he used the agape type of love. These verses tell us 3 vital things about agape: how we express it, we can't truly express it without knowing God, and we are commanded to express it.
We have all the tools, but in the end, love is easier said than done. We are imperfect people commanded to love perfectly. Anytime we sin, it comes down to a love issue. We simply fail to love. It's hard to swallow. As I write this I want to scream, "But I do love my husband. I do love God. I do, I do, I do!" Well, actions speak louder than words because agape is all about actions. Every time I hurt my spouse or my friends or my mom or dad or God, I do not love them at that moment.
What's the key to loving better? Loving God more. Walking in the Spirit daily. We need God to love with the love only God has. The more we empty ourselves and allow God to fill us, the more we can "love and be loved in return."
I Could Sing of Your Love Forever
With Monday being Valentine's Day, I thought it fitting to write about love. It's such a large word, with enormous meaning and yet only four letters. One of my favorite quotes come from The Five Love Languages:
"Love is the most important word in the English language--and the most confusing." Another favorite quote of mine comes from Moulin Rouge: "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."
But which love am I talking about? There are several types of love, and many languages are smart enough to distinguish them while we English-speaking folk clump all meanings into one word: love. The Greeks had four words: Eros, Storge, Philia, and Agape. Very sensible, don't you think? Eros is the sexual attraction we feel; the kind of love that sells toothpaste =). Storge is the way I feel for my mother and father. Philia is the love I feel for a child who's crying and lost, more commonly called brotherly love. Agape is that perfect and unconditional love that one cannot feel without God. It's the one talked about in scripture. It's the love 1 Corinthians 13 is about. Agape is patient, Agape is kind... When Jesus spoke of the two greatest commands in Matthew 22, to love God and to love others, he used the agape type of love. When John wrote, "Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1 John 4:7-8)," he used the agape type of love. These verses tell us 3 vital things about agape: how we express it, we can't truly express it without knowing God, and we are commanded to express it.
We have all the tools, but in the end, love is easier said than done. We are imperfect people commanded to love perfectly. Anytime we sin, it comes down to a love issue. We simply fail to love. It's hard to swallow. As I write this I want to scream, "But I do love my husband. I do love God. I do, I do, I do!" Well, actions speak louder than words because agape is all about actions. Every time I hurt my spouse or my friends or my mom or dad or God, I do not love them at that moment.
What's the key to loving better? Loving God more. Walking in the Spirit daily. We need God to love with the love only God has. The more we empty ourselves and allow God to fill us, the more we can "love and be loved in return."
I Could Sing of Your Love Forever
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Let Go
I couldn't think of anything to write, so I thought I'd share a little of what God showed/taught me last weekend. Let's see...where to begin?
The lesson of the weekend was about Jonah. It revolved around Jonah 2:8, which says, "Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God’s love for them." The theme was all about letting go, releasing anything and everything holding us back from doing God's will. Many of my girls had to let go of past pains and future fears, but God spoke to me as well. He told me I was holding on to lots of things. I'll write about two of them. I was holding on to time in two ways.
Everyone grows older. My best friend doesn't seem bothered by the fact we're not 20 anymore. While I cringe at every fine line. I don't embrace that the skin under my eyes are darker or that my eyelashes aren't as full. I want to take my 19-20 aged face and permanently glue it on my late 20's face. Don't get me wrong; I'm not horribly dissatisfied with my looks. I'm beautiful...for a 27-year-old. But boy, when I looked into my eighth-grader girls or even my college-aged co-leader, I couldn't help feeling envy for such flawless skin. I know that they too will eventually turn 27 and look closer to me. I know I will grow to look closer to my mother and her mother. I know that one cannot stop the clock. I know, but I can almost feel my youth slipping away. Well, that's because it is.
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." Psalms 31:30.
When I think with the Spirit, I don't understand why I cling to my youth so desperately. I'm married, so I don't need to win any man (and my husband tells me I'm pretty all the time, so I don't need to try harder than I am for him). I can't use my looks for any of God's work that I can think of. I'm not Esther needing to impress a king so I can be queen and save my whole race.
It comes down to pride. I want to look at my reflection and be enthralled. Love for myself rather than for my Lord and King. So, God told me to let go.
He also told me to let go of my free time. I use it too selfishly. Ecclesiastes tells us there's a time for everything, so relaxing isn't sinful by itself. But in my situation, let's just say, if my time were a pie, there's a huge chunk that's wasted on a daily basis. I need to give up more of my time for the Lord, be open to his voice. I could do a lot more good than I am.
So, there you have it. More confessions of a 27-year-old who'd like nothing better than to spend all my time watching t.v. and putting on makeup. Sad, I know. I only hope that writing my life lessons can help you with yours. What are you clinging to so tightly while God is saying, "Let go?"
The lesson of the weekend was about Jonah. It revolved around Jonah 2:8, which says, "Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God’s love for them." The theme was all about letting go, releasing anything and everything holding us back from doing God's will. Many of my girls had to let go of past pains and future fears, but God spoke to me as well. He told me I was holding on to lots of things. I'll write about two of them. I was holding on to time in two ways.
Everyone grows older. My best friend doesn't seem bothered by the fact we're not 20 anymore. While I cringe at every fine line. I don't embrace that the skin under my eyes are darker or that my eyelashes aren't as full. I want to take my 19-20 aged face and permanently glue it on my late 20's face. Don't get me wrong; I'm not horribly dissatisfied with my looks. I'm beautiful...for a 27-year-old. But boy, when I looked into my eighth-grader girls or even my college-aged co-leader, I couldn't help feeling envy for such flawless skin. I know that they too will eventually turn 27 and look closer to me. I know I will grow to look closer to my mother and her mother. I know that one cannot stop the clock. I know, but I can almost feel my youth slipping away. Well, that's because it is.
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." Psalms 31:30.
When I think with the Spirit, I don't understand why I cling to my youth so desperately. I'm married, so I don't need to win any man (and my husband tells me I'm pretty all the time, so I don't need to try harder than I am for him). I can't use my looks for any of God's work that I can think of. I'm not Esther needing to impress a king so I can be queen and save my whole race.
It comes down to pride. I want to look at my reflection and be enthralled. Love for myself rather than for my Lord and King. So, God told me to let go.
He also told me to let go of my free time. I use it too selfishly. Ecclesiastes tells us there's a time for everything, so relaxing isn't sinful by itself. But in my situation, let's just say, if my time were a pie, there's a huge chunk that's wasted on a daily basis. I need to give up more of my time for the Lord, be open to his voice. I could do a lot more good than I am.
So, there you have it. More confessions of a 27-year-old who'd like nothing better than to spend all my time watching t.v. and putting on makeup. Sad, I know. I only hope that writing my life lessons can help you with yours. What are you clinging to so tightly while God is saying, "Let go?"
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
He Wants YOU!
This weekend, Jon and I will be helping with his dad's church and being leaders for a youth thing called Disciple Now. Looking over the lesson plans, I was struck by how much the first lesson tied into the Esther study the ladies at my church have been doing. The lessons this weekend are about the story of Jonah. Lesson one focuses on the aspect that God calls us to do a task and passionately pursues us when we run away. He doesn't give up or let us go. One of the questions (a rather minor one compared to the others) is, Do you think God would have sent someone else or was Jonah Nineveh’s only chance? I was fascinated by this question because of what I recently read in Esther 4:14: "If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die. Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?"
Unfortunately, God doesn't need us. He is in no way dependent on us. God needs no one. However, he wants us so much he was willing to send his son to die on the cross for us. He wants us specifically to live a special destiny and fulfill a certain purpose. He was willing to argue with Moses until his slow-to-anger attitude became angry. He was willing to chase Jonah in the opposite direction and deliver him into the belly of a huge fish. He loves us enough to passionately pursue us until we obey him. We are not easily replaceable in his mind. As the Uncle Sam sign reads: I want you!
Something about that just gives me butterflies. God wants me, and no one else, to do a special task designed for me alone. He promises to continue his work in me until it is finished (Phil 1:6).
So, now I have choices. I can either obey immediately, hesitate as Esther did, argue as Moses did, or run away as Jonah did. In the end, I'll obey God's direction, so why bother with the delays? Because sometimes God's will is for me to do something I think is crazy, irrational and/or scary. Sometimes he tells me to do the opposite of what I want to do. In the end, when I do obey (even while grumbling), I always feel wonderful afterward. You know the feeling when you've just completed a hard job? It's better than that! A hundred times better!! The best way I can describe it is joy mixed with peace mixed with healthy pride.
So what's God asking you to do? He asked me to shovel my driveway (it took 4 hrs), so we could be ready to leave tomorrow morning and see my dad in Matthews, Mo and help Jon's dad's church out. I admit, I was a little peeved at my hubby when he made the decision to help this weekend without a full discussion after we got the facts. I personally wanted to stay home and relax. I know God will do great things through me this weekend, though, so now I'm excited. Oh, and he told me to write this blog although I was hoping to somehow excuse myself from it. After all, I'm on vacation this week. =)
Pray for the eighth-grade girls I'll be co-leading and the eighth-grade boys Jon will be leading. Pray that we'll both be empty vessels filled only by the Holy Spirit.
P.S. Forgive the weird fonts. Even when I select all and select a font/size, it refuses to make everything consistent.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Joy, the Lack of
Let me tell you something about Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). It sucks--literally. Over the last month or so, SAD seems to have sucked the joy out of my life. Life is foggy, and I go through the motions, but the enjoyment of reading, writing, coming up with the church's music list, working out, and so on has vanished. Don't worry too much. This winter is MUCH better than the last two or three. I've been taking vitamins with lot of B12 (which I heard helps) and a calcium supplement with lots of vitamin D (also which I heard helps). In addition, my in-laws bought me a light therapy alarm clock for Christmas. This winter I'm at a steady 5 rather than 3, so there is an improvement. However, it's hard to motivate myself to do anything besides sit and stare at the wall or television. Zoning out is my new favorite pastime. Coming in at a close second is video games (you don't have to use too much of your brain to play them). Thus, I have not written a blog since December 22.
The first week was a legitimate break. The second week I plum forgot. Jon had come back from St. Louis, and his presence rocked my routine. I forgot several tasks that week. After that, it seemed that no one really noticed the blog's absence, and I didn't feel like writing or have any inspiration anyway, so I decided I'd just stop for a while. Then I got scolded by my best friend (grrr/thanks). And so I am writing again.
Well, I started this blog about joy and I plan to end it with the same. To prepare for this entry, I looked up every verse in the Bible that contained the word joy. Or at least I tried. There were far too many to read in a short time. I did scan quite a few though, and I found a couple themes. The first was that joy seemed to accompany celebration and shouts. Secondly I found that joy was not something that came from ourselves. Over and over the verses would give credit to God for giving joy. Psalms 30:11 states, "You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy," Psalms 45:7 states, "You love righteousness and hate wickedness; therefore God, your God, has set you above your companions by anointing you with the oil of joy" Psalms 94:19 states, "When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy." Furthermore, joy isn't mine, but the Lord's. Psalms 21:6 states, "Surely you have granted him unending blessings and made him glad with the joy of your presence." Luke 10:21 states that Jesus received joy through the Holy Spirit, and in John 17:13, Jesus states, "I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them (emphasis added)." One of the very first verses I read struck me the most. Nehemiah 8:10 states, "...Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength."
So, it's not my joy that's been stolen, and it's not something I can replace. I must ask for it. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit. Walking in the Spirit alone should renew my joy. Same goes for patience, but that's another blog ;). I think Satan enjoyed clouding my mind and giving me no hope. But my eyes are open now. I may not always be happy (especially in the winter), but I am able to always have joy. I just need to know its true source.
Joy of the Lord is My Strength
The first week was a legitimate break. The second week I plum forgot. Jon had come back from St. Louis, and his presence rocked my routine. I forgot several tasks that week. After that, it seemed that no one really noticed the blog's absence, and I didn't feel like writing or have any inspiration anyway, so I decided I'd just stop for a while. Then I got scolded by my best friend (grrr/thanks). And so I am writing again.
Well, I started this blog about joy and I plan to end it with the same. To prepare for this entry, I looked up every verse in the Bible that contained the word joy. Or at least I tried. There were far too many to read in a short time. I did scan quite a few though, and I found a couple themes. The first was that joy seemed to accompany celebration and shouts. Secondly I found that joy was not something that came from ourselves. Over and over the verses would give credit to God for giving joy. Psalms 30:11 states, "You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy," Psalms 45:7 states, "You love righteousness and hate wickedness; therefore God, your God, has set you above your companions by anointing you with the oil of joy" Psalms 94:19 states, "When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy." Furthermore, joy isn't mine, but the Lord's. Psalms 21:6 states, "Surely you have granted him unending blessings and made him glad with the joy of your presence." Luke 10:21 states that Jesus received joy through the Holy Spirit, and in John 17:13, Jesus states, "I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them (emphasis added)." One of the very first verses I read struck me the most. Nehemiah 8:10 states, "...Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength."
So, it's not my joy that's been stolen, and it's not something I can replace. I must ask for it. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit. Walking in the Spirit alone should renew my joy. Same goes for patience, but that's another blog ;). I think Satan enjoyed clouding my mind and giving me no hope. But my eyes are open now. I may not always be happy (especially in the winter), but I am able to always have joy. I just need to know its true source.
Joy of the Lord is My Strength
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