Let me tell you something about Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). It sucks--literally. Over the last month or so, SAD seems to have sucked the joy out of my life. Life is foggy, and I go through the motions, but the enjoyment of reading, writing, coming up with the church's music list, working out, and so on has vanished. Don't worry too much. This winter is MUCH better than the last two or three. I've been taking vitamins with lot of B12 (which I heard helps) and a calcium supplement with lots of vitamin D (also which I heard helps). In addition, my in-laws bought me a light therapy alarm clock for Christmas. This winter I'm at a steady 5 rather than 3, so there is an improvement. However, it's hard to motivate myself to do anything besides sit and stare at the wall or television. Zoning out is my new favorite pastime. Coming in at a close second is video games (you don't have to use too much of your brain to play them). Thus, I have not written a blog since December 22.
The first week was a legitimate break. The second week I plum forgot. Jon had come back from St. Louis, and his presence rocked my routine. I forgot several tasks that week. After that, it seemed that no one really noticed the blog's absence, and I didn't feel like writing or have any inspiration anyway, so I decided I'd just stop for a while. Then I got scolded by my best friend (grrr/thanks). And so I am writing again.
Well, I started this blog about joy and I plan to end it with the same. To prepare for this entry, I looked up every verse in the Bible that contained the word joy. Or at least I tried. There were far too many to read in a short time. I did scan quite a few though, and I found a couple themes. The first was that joy seemed to accompany celebration and shouts. Secondly I found that joy was not something that came from ourselves. Over and over the verses would give credit to God for giving joy. Psalms 30:11 states, "You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy," Psalms 45:7 states, "You love righteousness and hate wickedness; therefore God, your God, has set you above your companions by anointing you with the oil of joy" Psalms 94:19 states, "When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy." Furthermore, joy isn't mine, but the Lord's. Psalms 21:6 states, "Surely you have granted him unending blessings and made him glad with the joy of your presence." Luke 10:21 states that Jesus received joy through the Holy Spirit, and in John 17:13, Jesus states, "I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them (emphasis added)." One of the very first verses I read struck me the most. Nehemiah 8:10 states, "...Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength."
So, it's not my joy that's been stolen, and it's not something I can replace. I must ask for it. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit. Walking in the Spirit alone should renew my joy. Same goes for patience, but that's another blog ;). I think Satan enjoyed clouding my mind and giving me no hope. But my eyes are open now. I may not always be happy (especially in the winter), but I am able to always have joy. I just need to know its true source.
Joy of the Lord is My Strength
