FROG

     I’m not a giant fan of frogs. One summer, I visited Texas with my cousins and saw a lot of huge, flat frog bodies all over the roads. EW, gross!! A lady I went to church with during high school loved frogs. I might be wrong, but I think it was because of the acronym F.R.O.G., Fully Relying On God. I’ll tell you what. A year ago, I had to do just that. And if I hadn’t, I would have gone insane.

     God gave us Kayla last year and our life has never been the same (in an awesome way!). I noticed recently that those touched by Jesus in the Bible were constantly sharing the great things he had done. I feel it’s my responsibility to share what Jesus did for us. How he gave Jon and I our little angel…

    

     This miracle started at teen camp ’11. The adult class that year was about the will of God. All week I was struggling with what God’s will was for my life. Should I pursue a master’s degree? Should I pursue adoption (at the time, Jon and I had agreed to start the adoption process in July). I kept thinking, “What if I start a master’s degree and then get a baby? My dream was to stay home with my children. What would I do? Just quit in the middle of my program? What if God’s plan was to never give me children? Or at least not for many years to come? I was lost in confusion.

     A kind woman at camp saw my fear and addressed it. She told me of her testimony, and we prayed for God’s guidance. She prayed that God would open the door he wanted me to walk through. I finally and fully let go of my burden and rested it in my Heavenly Father’s hands.

     Then it happened! God opened the door. The VERY NEXT DAY, I received a call from my old boss at Faith Lutheran, telling me she knew, through a vine of people, of a girl due in August that was looking for an adoptive family. She gave me and my husband the girl’s lawyer’s number. When I got back in town, we set up a meeting. The night before we met, Satan gave me the first temptation. Should we be honest about being Christian? What if she doesn’t like Christians? Turns out, one of the reasons they picked us was because we are Christians. Thank God we chose to be authentic!

     Once she chose us, we had three months to prepare for a child. Crazy, right? Talk about God’s provision! Adoption isn’t cheap, but God kept providing exactly what we needed!!

     I was attacked often during those months. I kept doubting and fretting. Should I buy baby things? What if the birth mother changed her mind? There were times I let Satan replace my joy with fear, times I leaned heavily on my Godly friend’s encouragement. I eventually took the leap of faith and furnished Kayla’s room. I let go of the fear and focused on God’s goodness and faithfulness.

     Then the day came. The birth mother was to be induced. We showed up at the hospital and were given our own room (Kirksville’s hospital rocks!). While waiting for Kayla’s birth, Satan threw us another curve ball. We received an anonymous letter warning us against the adoption. The letter contained many accusations, including the birth mother’s drug history. At first Jon and I didn’t know what to think. Jon spoke with his family for advice. We came to the conclusion that the letter contained no new information. God had provided all the information via encounters with the birth mother and her lawyer’s disclosures. We discarded the letter and awaited our baby.

     Then Kayla was born!!! I got to hold my little girl for the first time! My heart ached with joy and dread the whole time. Could I let her go if her birth mom changed her mind? I wanted to just grab her and run, but that obviously wouldn’t have ended well. So, I kept my cool. We spent as much time as we could with her, but allowed the birth family as much time as they needed. So hard…

Especially when the birth grandma came in to tell us that the birth mom was starting to lose courage. What?? I might lose my baby?? She didn’t seem convinced that I was attaching to Kayla either. I was, I reassured her; I was simply nervous and scared.

     Those 48 hours were the longest I ever endured. At the final hour, I was a complete ball of nerves. I was surrounded by family and friends, but my eyes kept creeping back to the clock. Had the lawyer arrived? Did the birth mother sign the papers? Will we walk away devastated or parents?

     Well, you all know this story has a happy ending! We are proud parents to a beautiful Kayla Irene Easterwood, who has turned a year old today. I am so thankful to God, for his power, his grace, and his faithfulness. Without Fully Relying On God, we would have had no hope.

GOD IS SO GOOD!!!!

Comfort in Sovereignty

I admit my mind often goes to dark places. My imagination gets the best of me, especially when I worry about my daughter. The other day, my friend and I discussed how we had felt helpless when we desired children and couldn’t have them, but now that we have a child, we feel vulnerable. Our child is the weak link in our armor. We find ourselves sometimes fretting unnecessarily about losing our child.

On the fourth of July, I saw a firework explode in the sky not too far from my car as I drove home from my friend’s house. We had just had the above conversation. I suddenly pictured in my mind a reckless teenager (or adult for that matter) shooting off a firework in the wrong direction, and it crashing through the back side window, hurting, if not killing, my little angel. I know, right? Dark.

On my way to Dexter to see my dad, horror upon horror seized my thoughts. I imagined a tornado coming out of nowhere (well, there was a storm ahead) with me pulling over, grabbing Kayla from the car, and ducking in a ditch off the side of the road. The story ended with my decapitation. Further down the road, I saw a semi truck swerving suspiciously and my imagination went crazy again: The truck driver loses control and flips. I try desperately to stop in time but fail, smashing my car into the side of the truck. I’m near death but Kayla is unharmed. Strangers come and call 9-1-1. My phone is dead (and it actually was at the time), so no one knows who to call. Kayla is shipped off to a foster family while my family frantically seeks answers.

You might be thinking, “Silly, Becca, these things won’t happen to you.” Why not? What makes me so special that I get to escape such calamities? Let’s move closer. What makes you so special?

Ecclesiastes 9:11-12 states, “I have observed something else under the sun. The fastest runner doesn’t always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn’t always win the battle. The wise sometimes go hungry, and the skillful are not necessarily wealthy. And those who are educated don’t always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, by being in the right place at the right time. People can never predict when hard times might come. Like fish in a net or birds in a trap, people are caught by sudden tragedy.”

James warns against the evil of boasting about tomorrow in James 4:13-17. He states in verse 14, “Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” Proverbs 27:1 says, “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.”

So, what do we do? Look over our shoulder at every corner? Let fear grip us until we choke? Heavens no! We take comfort in the fact not a sparrow falls dead without God’s knowledge (Matthews 10:29). We take comfort in God’s sovereignty. He might, no, will allow times of misfortune. Look at Job…ouch! But nothing that happens in our life is a surprise to God. He is watching over us, carrying us through it. He loves us and gives us strength and peace (Psalms 29:11).

So, praise God for his sovereignty!! He will see us through anything that may befall us!

Camp Niangua 2012

It's been several weeks since camp, so it's about time I write about my experience. First of all, camp was amazing. God worked in so many ways.
We arrived on Monday, registered and had lunch. The first day was pretty low key. I knew ahead of time that I was going to teach and help with the choir class. In addition, I was asked to be a team leader during the midday gathering. The job description was to be encouraging and have energy. I could do that.What was not mentioned was the fact I would be challenged with an extremely diverse group and had to get them to work together in harmony.

My group ranged from the athletic to the geek, from tall to short, from small to large, from energetic to too-cool-to-be-there attitudes. Our first team project was to come up with a name and a cheer associated with our team color: green. Encouraging isn't the word for what I had to do to get my group to voice opinions and agree. "Pulling teeth" is a clearer depiction. Finally, we came up with a name: the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They were teenagers and green, so the name was fitting. Our cheer was using our bodies to form the letters TMNT while our cheerleader (literally speaking) shouted each letter. We got second to last place. First place went to the blue team, who danced around in a circle mimicking the Smurfs. No contest really. The goofier, the better, and we were not goofy.

Tuesday's activity was trying to hit other teams with water balloons while they walked in connected lines back and forth across the softball field. The further the team, the higher the points. Each team got 10 balloons. We shot off 8...3 popped in our hands, 1 was mercifully replaced. Needless to say, we didn't do so hot. However, my team worked a little better together. Some took the lead and organized who would hold the sling shot. We gave everyone a turn, regardless that some were obviously better shots than others.

Wednesday we played tug-of-war on a tarp slathered with dish soap and hosed down. We lost each time but had a blast! We worked together on strategy. We were a true team!

Thursday the activity was human battleship. Volleyball nets covered with tarps separated each team, who lay on the ground in various positions. Each team had a player throw a beach ball over the net, and if s/he hit an opposing player, that player hit was out. Our team took turns at who would throw the beach ball. I was impressed by the lack of arguing. They really did work well together. We earned the most activity points that day.

I was pleasantly surprised by my team's positive attitudes. Compared to the other teams, we were losing...bad! Regardless, they tried their best and never blamed each other for our failures. On Thursday, one boy even shouted out, "Go, green team," to me across the quad. He was one of the kids I thought had the I-don't-want-to-be-here mentality. Looks like I was wrong =).

In the end, we came in last place, even after I earned us extra points by participating in a skit (which was super funny!). Placement didn't matter, though. I was so proud of them for working so well together. An accomplishment I didn't see us achieving that first day.

Along with being a team leader, I also taught 13 and 14-year-old girls each morning and helped with a choir class in the afternoon. This blog is long enough without describing these experiences in detail as well.
Let me just tell you of one major impression I got. Teenagers are lonely. I found that many of these girls had no true friend, someone they could always rely on. Someone loyal in all life's circumstances. My heart ached at their stories. At the same time, my heart rejoiced in my fortune. I'm surrounded by caring people. I have not only my husband, but a best friend whom I consider a sister.

Never take true friends for granted. They are rare gems.

Ah, Love...love, love, love.

If you look at the date of my last post, you'll see it's been over a year...However, lately God has been giving me blog idea after blog idea. Since yesterday was my anniversary, I thought it fitting to write about the insight God gave me about  marriage. *disclaimer* I will talk briefly about the intimacies of marriage...

Recently, I've been learning about the different types of love in the Bible. Specifically, the four Greek words for love mentioned in the New Testament: Agape, Philia, Storge, and Eros. After I was done studying each one, it dawned on me...each is necessary for a marriage to last.

First off, there is agape. This is the sacrificial and unconditional love that comes from God. All Christians are obligated to love in this way. Agape is the universal love, if you would. We should agapao (verb tense) everyone, including our enemies. Agape is not based on feelings, but actions. Agape is best described in 1 Corinthians 13. When couples make the vow, "for better or for worse," this love gets them through the worse. It's for when we don't feel like loving our spouse. 

The second type of love is philia. This love is based on a strong liking or deep friendship. You can agapao your enemies but you can't phileo them.This is why it is sooo important to marry your best friend. Think about it. You live with this person. You spend most of your time with him or her. Thus liking your spouse is vital. If you'd rather spend all your time with another person, your marriage is in trouble. Proverbs 17:17 says that a true friend stays a friend through good and bad times. Hmmm...that sounds a lot like marriage vows...

The third type of love is storge. This refers to the natural affection of family. I really didn't start feeling this until Kayla came into our life. Until then, I saw Jon and me only as a couple instead of a family unit. The Bible says a man will leave is mom and dad to cleave to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. I can't imagine any closer bond than that. You and your spouse might have come each from your own families, but marriage has made you a new family. Decisions should be based on what's best for the unit, not the individual.

Last but not least is eros. The erotic love. Some people really shy away from this one, but that's silly. What do you think separates the one you choose to marry from the one you don't? Physical attraction!! I mean, really. Let's be adults here. Sex is a wonderful part of marriage. Even the Bible tells us not to abstain for too long in marriage to protect us from temptation (1Corinthians 7:5). If eros wasn't important, adultery would not be an issue in this world.

Drawing a little support from the secular world as well, Sternberg's Triangle Theory of Love understands the importance of different feelings working together to create a strong bond between two people. He came up with a triangle that holds a different piece of love at each tip: Intimacy (philia), Passion (eros), and Commitment (agape/storge). Each standing alone or two together created different types of love. But all three together made the strongest: consummate love.